The email you sent is so centered on love. “You are still our neighbors.” Goodness, we can’t change the address of our hearts. And we’re not in charge of where or how hurt takes up residence when it moves in, at least not initially. I hope you continue to find yourself rearranged and beautifully and unexpectedly restored. 🧡
Like Alice, I too am allergic to NSAIDs and felt the need to offer quiet company in this. When I mention the allergy someone is always compelled to tell me, 'Oh, but tylenol doesn't work for me.' Yes. It works for none of the people. But this is our singular nonprescription pain option, so here we are.
I have been aching with you from afar through the church devastation and the unspooling. Sometimes I imagine compression sleeves for our hearts, just to keep all the parts together and unlost. PS I love you and now feel a motherly tenderness for your leg. Be well, both of you.
I love your writing.. I laughed out loud and cried a little bit here: "I chalked my sister’s casual reference to elephantitis up to dormant sibling rivalry. But when my hypo-dramatic mom grew concerned about a foot issue that had bloomed into an entire lower-leg issue, I sought professional help and began having nightmares about death. "
I cannot imagine a post, offering the witness of someone else’s words via their published book, to be any more true to you, your experience, your pain, your integrity. I’ve seen several posts about The Understory over this week, but yours is what will lead me to read it. ❤️
This means so much, Jessie. Almost makes me teary! These posts take a lot of time. I want them to be true and thoughtful (even when they're just silly or fun.) It makes my day to know they've "landed" with someone. I think you're going to love Lore's book as much as I did.
“This is a new version of my true self, reordered…” This reminds me of a quote I read years ago about the reordering of our loves. I'm sorry for the pain (all of it, church, foot). Yes, let Summer ascend. And may the new emerge. You've convinced me I need to read The Understory.
I was moved by so many things in this essay and am adding The Understory to my TBR list right now. I’m just coming out of a long difficult grieving process of leaving a church. But after the footnotes the thing I connect with the most is that I’m allergic to NSAIDS to and it sucks. At first that seemed too stupid to share but I think you would appreciate the big and small connections.
Alice! Yes. Thank you. This was actually a source of stress for me with the whole surgery option. One of the docs said 'if we do blah blah blah you'll have to be on blah blah blah medicine for a year or two but then most people can move to a baby aspirin every day. And I died a little inside. 😭 Solidarity, friend.
Adding The Understory to my reading list. I found comfort and care in your words here, Shannan. Thank you. I have had on going left leg issues the last year as well—post ACL reconstruction complications. Until last March I had no idea what interventional radiology was. Three surgeries, too many scans, low grade anxiety below the surface most days. I’m trying to find compression socks that will be helpful and cute—my own vanity. This with all the other life and loss. last week as I reflected on all of this I thought truly God has tenderly mothered me in it all. Grace and peace and goodness be with you—and less swelling over these summer months. Grateful for you.
Making me cry. It's been such a disappointing week on so many levels (which I know you get on ever level) and seeing such support for the book is buoying me up.
Sending big love your way on all of these fronts. "A funeral of one" is so poignant, so relatable. Aren't our bodies miraculous and frustrating? And the system that is supposed to heal them a big fat mess? You're not alone.
I feel this in my soul: “I don’t exist as I did one year ago, and neither does my body or my heart. This is a new version of my true self, reordered, as Lore writes, “at the cellular level”.”
I just passed my two year anniversary of an injury that took my ability to walk, and I grieve daily that I’ll never be my old self again. I’m learning to love the new self, but in the most of that is an aching for life I once had.
The email you sent is so centered on love. “You are still our neighbors.” Goodness, we can’t change the address of our hearts. And we’re not in charge of where or how hurt takes up residence when it moves in, at least not initially. I hope you continue to find yourself rearranged and beautifully and unexpectedly restored. 🧡
Like Alice, I too am allergic to NSAIDs and felt the need to offer quiet company in this. When I mention the allergy someone is always compelled to tell me, 'Oh, but tylenol doesn't work for me.' Yes. It works for none of the people. But this is our singular nonprescription pain option, so here we are.
I have been aching with you from afar through the church devastation and the unspooling. Sometimes I imagine compression sleeves for our hearts, just to keep all the parts together and unlost. PS I love you and now feel a motherly tenderness for your leg. Be well, both of you.
Compression sleeves for the heart 😭🫶🏻
Of course we have this in common! Tylenol is a joke. 😩 LOVE YOU. 🩵
I love your writing.. I laughed out loud and cried a little bit here: "I chalked my sister’s casual reference to elephantitis up to dormant sibling rivalry. But when my hypo-dramatic mom grew concerned about a foot issue that had bloomed into an entire lower-leg issue, I sought professional help and began having nightmares about death. "
Thank you for finding the funny bits even amid the sloggy stuff. 💝
Not sloggy though! Heart making/hitting/breaking yes!
I cannot imagine a post, offering the witness of someone else’s words via their published book, to be any more true to you, your experience, your pain, your integrity. I’ve seen several posts about The Understory over this week, but yours is what will lead me to read it. ❤️
This means so much, Jessie. Almost makes me teary! These posts take a lot of time. I want them to be true and thoughtful (even when they're just silly or fun.) It makes my day to know they've "landed" with someone. I think you're going to love Lore's book as much as I did.
“This is a new version of my true self, reordered…” This reminds me of a quote I read years ago about the reordering of our loves. I'm sorry for the pain (all of it, church, foot). Yes, let Summer ascend. And may the new emerge. You've convinced me I need to read The Understory.
Ah, I'm so glad! You're going to love it.
May you have many, many good leg days this summer.
May it be so! 🙌🏻 Thank you, Annette.
I was moved by so many things in this essay and am adding The Understory to my TBR list right now. I’m just coming out of a long difficult grieving process of leaving a church. But after the footnotes the thing I connect with the most is that I’m allergic to NSAIDS to and it sucks. At first that seemed too stupid to share but I think you would appreciate the big and small connections.
Alice! Yes. Thank you. This was actually a source of stress for me with the whole surgery option. One of the docs said 'if we do blah blah blah you'll have to be on blah blah blah medicine for a year or two but then most people can move to a baby aspirin every day. And I died a little inside. 😭 Solidarity, friend.
Best. Soup. Ever.
Adding The Understory to my reading list. I found comfort and care in your words here, Shannan. Thank you. I have had on going left leg issues the last year as well—post ACL reconstruction complications. Until last March I had no idea what interventional radiology was. Three surgeries, too many scans, low grade anxiety below the surface most days. I’m trying to find compression socks that will be helpful and cute—my own vanity. This with all the other life and loss. last week as I reflected on all of this I thought truly God has tenderly mothered me in it all. Grace and peace and goodness be with you—and less swelling over these summer months. Grateful for you.
I am experiencing the mothering love of God like never before. ❤️🩹
So much love for you. We will move through this. We will.
You wrote a stunning book and are a true keeper of a human. ✨✨
Making me cry. It's been such a disappointing week on so many levels (which I know you get on ever level) and seeing such support for the book is buoying me up.
“But I knew my only option was to trust, and I’ve learned God usually shows up looking eerily like a person.” ❤️
Sending big love your way on all of these fronts. "A funeral of one" is so poignant, so relatable. Aren't our bodies miraculous and frustrating? And the system that is supposed to heal them a big fat mess? You're not alone.
Yes, the grief from our broken healthcare system has been another layer. 😭
I appreciate your writing so much, Shannon. This piece I will hold in my heart as I process what you wrote. Thank you for sharing, for being you!
I'm glad it was helpful! 🩵
The peony picture.
The final beautiful confetti of petals. That made me sob.
Hope for many many good leg days to come!
Endings can be beautiful, too. ✨💝
I feel this in my soul: “I don’t exist as I did one year ago, and neither does my body or my heart. This is a new version of my true self, reordered, as Lore writes, “at the cellular level”.”
I just passed my two year anniversary of an injury that took my ability to walk, and I grieve daily that I’ll never be my old self again. I’m learning to love the new self, but in the most of that is an aching for life I once had.
Thank you for sharing this with us, Carly. Grief and hope, our constant companions. Sending so much love your way.
Read every word, Shannan. This all sounds so hard.