43 Comments
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Kenda Carey's avatar

I’m so sorry for what you and Cory have experienced. My prayers are with you as you rest and wait. Thank you for sharing such a hard thing. You don’t owe us your story at all, but I hope in sharing even a part of it, brings you hope and healing.

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Shannan Martin's avatar

(Behind on these beautiful comments!) Thank you for saying I don't owe anything here. I am honestly ever so grateful to have a safe, smaller space to process hard stuff in writing. It's how I figure out the world.

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Simon Travers's avatar

Standing with you both. Proud of you both. Make it right, don't make nice. Pass on the biggest of bear-hugs to Cory.

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Shannan Martin's avatar

Calling on someone to stitch up a "Make it right, don't make nice" t-shirt for my Enneagram 8 Club!

Love and hugs right back to all of you.

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Erica S.'s avatar

Oh Shannan, I'm so sorry. Praying for you and for Cory. I'm glad you all can take this time to rest, to breathe, to wait. I pray that God meets you on this ground, that the vulnerable are heard, and that whatever happened humbles the hearts of those that need it.

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Shannan Martin's avatar

Praying FERVENTLY (too fervently?) for some justice.

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Becky O's avatar

I’m so sorry you and your family have to go through this. May you see light in the darkness even if it’s only a tiny spark.

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Shannan Martin's avatar

Sparks are flying!

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Ursula's avatar

I’m praying for you. In 2020 we left our church of 17 years. It was the most painful break up of my life. I’m still not over it. And, we have found a church community that is beautiful and safe and good and messy and a gift and I’m grateful for what has grown. But man the process hurts. Know you’re held in so much care and regard.

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Shannan Martin's avatar

It hurts so much. Thank you, Ursula.

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Celeste L.'s avatar

Oof. This hits close to home for my family and many I know and love. I'm so sorry, Shannan. While my family has never been scapegoated, the pain of realizing the true hierarchy of institution over people in so many churches feels like a soul beat down and a dirty little knife in the heart. Know that there is community in the wilderness. Sending love and support. 💗

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Shannan Martin's avatar

Thank you for naming the dirty knife. It helps.

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Lyndsey Medford's avatar

I'm so sorry, Shannan. It's so impossible to explain how much it hurts, how confused and utterly depleted you have to be to decide to leave. Peace, comfort and joy to all of you this Advent.

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Shannan Martin's avatar

Lynds, yes. You know! It's the depletion of it all. You sort of fall out the door. And then realize you have to still keep going about life, etc...

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Kim's avatar

Oh Shannan. I cried reading this. I’m so sorry for the pain and difficult but courageous decisions you all have had to make and walk through. In your waiting, resting and watching may you continue to be anchored in Hope. Peace to you and your community.

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Shannan Martin's avatar

Thank you for loving us, Kim.

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Barbara Pickut's avatar

I’m so sorry. Church-hurt is so hard, so deep, so complex, and there’s too much of it. Praying for healing, for community, for continuing to see light returning even in the darkness.

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Jessica's avatar

Feel safe and feel loved.

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Shannan Martin's avatar

(sob)

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Carly Owens's avatar

“Jesus’ arrival didn’t stop hard things from happening. It gave us a fixed reference point of hope and healing for when they do.” This is beautiful and profound. Thank you for sharing through your pain and for your transparency.

Sending lots of love ♥️

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Shelley Ross's avatar

I’m sorry, Shannan. It’s so painful. So much loss. The system can be harmful especially when harmful theology supersedes being human and loving people. Sending love and peace to you.

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Dana Rhyne's avatar

Sending love and healing. Take comfort in the waiting...

P.S. as someone who bandages her husband's foot almost every night - solidarity with the tedious necessary. Oof.

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Shannan Martin's avatar

Dana, I love that you do the bandaging! There was something so beautiful about my OT, Carol, who took such care with my foot. I'm maxed out on doctor appointments, but I was genuinely sad when she graduated me.

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Elizabeth Anderson's avatar

Oh Shannan... I'm coming late to this post. I have been holding your words in my heart all week as I'm going through my own tumultuous, painful season in an institution I serve and love (not a Church though, and I do agree with others who have commented on the pain of Church hurt). I hope this season of break is rest and healing for your family, though I know there's probably a lot to process too). We're holding space for you here. For whatever you need or wish to share at whatever time. Or how many times we may need to search out grains of delight and care to get us through the hard times.

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Cindy Arnold's avatar

Oh, my heart breaks with and for you. After leaving my only church from adulthood in 2020, I can only imagine the heartache and the relief you're all holding.

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Lore Wilbert's avatar

Love you. I hate this. I’m sorry. I see you.

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Shannan Martin's avatar

You are a balm. We will talk soon! (?!)

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